20 minutes

I thought I was doing ok with the idea of us not having any more kids but I am not. The other day I had twenty minutes alone in my house an occurance that never happens. It was quiet, sad and lonely. I did not quite know what to do with those minutes. It made me so sad thinking that's how it will be all the time in only 2.5 years. My entire identity of who I am and what I do is being a mom. I realize when they go to school I can submerge myself in service, a job, and other activities but I don't want to. I want to be home enjoying the wonder of a little one. This is what I know and love.