Our baby

I feel that I have been so consumed with every day life and my own emotional struggles that I have neglected to write about this  miracle baby we are having in just a few months. 

It was a long emotional process to have this baby.  We started our fertility treatments 10 months before it actually worked.  There were times when all things should have lined up and on paper we should be pregnant but we were continually disappointed.  We had sincerely started to shift our thoughts that maybe our vision of our family was different than the Lords.  Maybe we would be a family of four and we needed to find peace with that.  Of course as we accepted this possibility the next month the treatments worked!

We waited a few weeks and told the kids at the dinner table.  We explained that we thought because Noah and Ellie were such good friends and loved each other so much that we should have another baby.  Noah screamed in excitement and Ellie not really understanding just joined in the noise making....it was very cute.

From the very beginning I knew this baby was a boy.  I had a lot of headaches and zero nausea which was similar to Noah.  As we talked with the kids we all voiced or thoughts and all agreed it was a boy. Both kids came to the ultrasound and it was confirmed that he was a healthy boy.

A few weeks ago I was diagnosed with gestational diabetes.  I have had to alter my diet and test myself with finger pricks four times a day.  This has been extremely frustrating and discouraging. It feels like just one more thing I have to deal with. All through our fertility treatment and this diagnosis the only reasoning doctors have provided is that I am getting older.  Seriously?  Many women are having their first child at my age.

This has been by far the hardest pregnancy for me due to some emotional challenges.  It saddens me because all the negative things I have dealt with during this pregnancy make me feel like I can not do it again.  I am ok with that but wanted it to be a choice that Zac and I felt as opposed to being forced on me by my body's inability to deal with things.  For now I am assuming this is our last little spirit to join our family but not shutting the door completely.

Its amazing to think in a few weeks we will have a new personality in our home.....who will he look like? What will his name be? How will the kids react?  Regardless of any of this baby Brodrick you will be one loved little boy!