GRATEUL: For a sweet hubs who fasted all day for Noah to know of our love and feel better adjusted.
Here is how I know I am a mom of 2 now:
Noah use to watch 2 shows a day which I felt pretty good about. The other morning he had watched 2 by 9:45 am!
I have called Ellie Noah on numerous occasions.
I have cried every day for the past 13 days of feeling overwhelmed.
I have felt the need to divide and conquer. Before we did everything as a family, now we split off regularly (usually Zac taking Noah off to run an errand so something gets accomplished and I have some down time) I already forget what it's like to spend time with my man!
After finally being in a place where I was not comparing myself to other moms as much and happy with how I was doing........now I am back to square one comparing myself to moms of 2 children and feeling totally inadequate.
I have learned the blessed art of randomness......when Noah is having a tantrum talking about it and trying to appease him does nothing because he is just making a statement. My friend taught me about randomness. When he is melting down we just shout out something totally random and off the wall like......"I forgot to go to the moon today! Silly me!" It totally throws off their thought process and then you are engaged in a very imaginative conversation for the next few minutes and tantrum is forgotten......it really works!
I have learned the blessed art of randomness......when Noah is having a tantrum talking about it and trying to appease him does nothing because he is just making a statement. My friend taught me about randomness. When he is melting down we just shout out something totally random and off the wall like......"I forgot to go to the moon today! Silly me!" It totally throws off their thought process and then you are engaged in a very imaginative conversation for the next few minutes and tantrum is forgotten......it really works!
I have no desire whatsoever to go to any type of store with both children. I have no idea how that would even work! How do you get 2 kids in a cart and all your groceries! That will definitely be a solo night job or weekends with Zac event.
I feel even more positive that I will be paying for Noah to go to pre-school in the fall.
7 comments:
Hi girl, I remember feeling the exact same way when Nikell was born. I'm here to tell you it gets easier! When Nikell was about 5 months old I started feeling like I could conquer the going to Target thing with them both without feeling like I was going to sweat myself to death.
I hope you know that you are doing an awesome job and you will get the hang of it before you know it!
I don't do the grocery store thing with both of them very often but when I do I make Brooklyn walk and hold onto the cart the entire time. At first it's hard to train them to hold on to it without running off but if you are consistent and don't give in eventually Noah will understand your serious and he will stay right by you the whole time. I promise it works if you are strict and don't give in! HOPE this helps! Good luck my friend!!
I had to go grocery shopping just to get out the house some days. So, I would put the baby in the Snugli and wear him, and let Aerie sit in the cart. When I could, I would also leave the baby at home, and just take Aerie so that I could teach her how to walk beside me. She took awhile to figure it out, but she's great now!
I know that overwhelmed feeling, but pretty soon, you'll find your rhythm. You are doing a great job!
I meant that I would leave the baby at home with Charles. I wouldn't just leave him home. Just wanted to clarify!
LOL! I'm right there with you girl! I totally had the same concerns. I felt that same way and after 2 months it's already WAY better! It just takes a little time! You're doing great...try not to get too overwhelmed you're adjusting too and you're an amazing mommy! One day at a time!
Several weeks ago I declared no more grocery outings with two kids. It was so ridiculous. Now I go alone whenever I can. At night. on the weekend. Whatever. IT's much better that way.
and P.S. it will get better every week/month
Hang in there. I'll be honest, I can't say that things get easier, but it's amazing how you and the rest of the family will quickly adjust and be able to handle it all.
I hear you about comparing yourself to other moms, but don't do it. Remember that their situation is different from you. I've struggled with that, because all of my friends here have four or more kids and I feel pressure to have more, but I'm not sure we're ready. I've finally gotten to the point where I know it's better for me to really think about us as a family and do what's best for us rather than worry about everyone else.
I still very rarely take all my kids to the grocery store. It's a little easier now because the boys are older and they like to help by putting things in the cart and stuff, but I prefer to be childless at the grocery store.
I think putting Noah in preschool will help you both. He'll love it and you'll love it.
You are a great mom, and you're doing the best you know how. Just keep remembering that. I love you! I wish I was there to help you. I know it's hard, but try not to stress about the little things, because it's really not that big of a deal in the long run. Call me if you need a break. I'd love to chat.
I think I already told you that the first day Brent went back to work after I had Ian I cried and cried wondering how I was going to take care of two little ones without neglecting the other one! Now I look back and can laugh! :) It definitely gets better.
There's nothing wrong with not wanting to go to the store without the kiddies. Although it's just grocery shopping you come home a better mommy! Whoever thought a trip alone to the grocery store would be rejuvenating? :)
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